It’s really started. Baby E is starting to transition to her new home. Her new family. I can type those things, but the words get stuck in my throat and I avoid them at all cost. I caught myself avoiding calling Miss C. Mom or Mama. I didn’t want to say it, because saying it would get me a little closer to the reality that I am never going to be that to this precious baby girl. Now...
What is a woman supposed to do… When she is losing a baby birthed from her heart? When the feelings of inadequacy and emptiness that come with infertility have come back full force, and immeasurably stronger than before because now she knows what she’s missing? When she prayed harder than she’s ever prayed before and the answer is still “no”? When she is having a...
I’m sorry I’ve been quiet again. My heart is hurting and I want so badly to write about it, but I can’t. Everything is just too confidential and sensitive. Things are changing. Big time changing. Like…. I don’t know what God is doing, but I hope this season is coming to an end and the next is full of all kinds of joy….kind of changing. One thing that has my...
After multiple phone calls from multiple sources, the consensus seems to be that Baby E will be coming home TOMORROW! The hospital wants me to do an overnight to make sure I understand how to care for her… Really? She’s a baby! Yeah, she has some special needs, but we’re not talking a g-tube or ventilator or anything, she’s just ultra sensitive to noise and light. Anywho...
I went to visit Baby E again today. She was sleeping when I arrived, so I scooped her up and rocked her, singing and singing. She never stirred besides a few grunts and groans. I love that little face. She seems very peaceful. The nurse said she had a good day and that she is eating really well. She spits up a little, but no reflux, so that’s good. I only stayed about an hour, because she...
So…any mamas who have dealt with drug addicted babies, I NEED YOU! We will be starting visits with Baby E at the hospital (possibly tomorrow) so that the nurses can help us transition and understand what she needs. She is really REALLY struggling with withdrawals. She is 5 weeks old already, so this has already been a long journey for her. According to our worker, seasoned nurses have cried...
One wore a helmet. One left his helmet on the ground. One was riding to earn trust. One was riding because trust had been lost. One came home early just to check in. One will not be sleeping in his bed tonight. One is striving for healing, as hard as it might be. One is walking away from health, determined to stay in control. Both are loved. Both are prayed for…and prayed for…and...
It may be a tantrum… But it’s only a 1 hour tantrum instead of an all day tantrum. There may be stomping and yelling…. But there’s not any hitting, or throwing, or swearing. There may be sneaking… But it’s only one or two instead of the whole package. There may be stinky armpits… But at least there’s a clean bum. We’ve come a long way...
Between wishing you had never opened your home to “those kids” and knowing there is nothing else you would rather do than parent and love on “those kids” it’s tougher than tough on your heart. On my heart. I realized this evening that I have not been on MARE since September. Or Spence-Chapin for that matter. There are two reasons for this. 1. I’ve been so crazy...
The great escape! Out of the group home for good!
Gabe laughing at the boys still at the group home…all in good fun of coarse.
Sorting through all of Gabe’s stuff was hard work. That boy has a lot of clothes…90% shirts.
Wife, mother, chauffeur, referee, teacher, chef, caretaker, etc...All unto Christ.
