Q: The box says ages 8+ but I'm pretty sure my 5 year old would enjoy it. How do I know if it would be a good fit?
A: Game age suggestions are based off of many different factors based on basic ideas of skills, attention span, etc... If a game requires reading, it will usually say 8+, but that doesn't mean that a 5 y/o couldn't play the game very effectively with a little help. If a game has what the raters view as more complex logic, it might be rated as 14+, but that doesn't mean that your 10 y/o wouldn't be able to play with a little support.
Q: Where can I go to see if there are content concerns in a game?
A: For board games head to boardgamegeek.com . Although this is not a site geared toward parents making child-safe choices, they are my favorite resource for detailed reviews. There are also many YouTube channels that feature game play-throughs that will give you a good taste for the content of the game, as well as how to play it.
For video games, commonsensemedia.org is a great place to look at overviews and find potential problematic content.
Q: My child is really competitive and a bad loser. How can I help develop their character and game etiquette?
A: Being clear about family expectations before you play a game is a great first step. In our family we recite our rules before we begin.
1. Games are for fun!
2. I will play fairly.
3. I will not quit.
4. If someone else makes a good move or wins the game, I will congratulate them.
5. It’s okay to be disappointed, but it is not okay to be a bad sport (examples –
pouting, smack talk, excuses, anger etc..)
If a child is not able to follow these rules after reminding and is making the experience no fun for everyone else, that child will be asked to leave the game OR the game will be put away. We try to do this with as little fanfare as possible.
The second thing that really helps overly competitive or immature children succeed with games are cooperative games. Cooperative games are games designed to be won or lost together as a team. What’s great about cooperative games is that they have all of the elements of other games (ie turn-taking, problem solving, risk management etc..), but you are working together to accomplish the goals. It teaches competitive skills, because you are competing against the game or the challenge, but it cushions the blow for competitive kids (and adults) because they know that you are on the same team and that it is not you against them. It’s a great way for adults to model critical thinking and risk management in a way that makes the child or inexperienced gamer feel safe. When you lose, and you will, it will give the child the opportunity to express frustration WITH you. You can commiserate together, and then you can model how to be resilient and discuss ways you could improve your game-play or change your strategy for next time.
More about COOPERATIVE GAMES here.
Q: Where is the best place to find quality games?
A: Tabletop games are experiencing a huge resurgence, which means that the top games are often really widely available. You can probably find the most popular games at your local big-box store or Amazon. If you want to dig a little deeper, you can check out game review sites like boardgamegeek.com for what's trending in quality games and buy directly from the publisher. There are game awards given out each year in different categories, and that is a great way to find the best of the best. Another way to find quality games is through crowd-funding sites like Kickstarter. Many games are being published by small companies who depend on crowdsourcing to publish their amazing games. You can often get bonus content that the general public won't have access to once the game is released, which is really fun. And then, of coarse, keep your eye out at thrift stores, yard sales, and homeschool sales. Keep a running list on your phone and check it off as your thrift around.
Q: What should I do if a game is not a good fit? Should we stick it out?
A: No. There are too many good games to play to try to force something that is either above your child's (or your) level, or just a poorly designed game. That doesn't mean get rid of it immediately, it might be a favorite in 6 months, but if it is a game that you avoid playing or have no interest in trying again, get that game off of your kalax.
Also, many times frustration comes from not knowing how to play the game or being overwhelmed by the instructions. For this problem, I highly suggest watching a quality play-through on YouTube or boardgamegeek.com .
Q: What's the difference between a good game and a bad game?
A: Is it fun to play? Good game. Is it frustrating to play? Bad game.
This might come down to design, concept, instructions, or holes in gameplay.
Q: My child struggles with _____. How do I find a game that might encourage growth in this area?
A: Looking at the overall concept of the game will help you know what skills it might encourage. For example, word games are pretty easily recognizable as developing language skills. Others might not be so obvious. In general, puzzle games will encourage logic, deck building games and dice games will encourage risk management. But the amazing thing is that games can encourage many areas of brain and social development, and even physical development, all at the same time.
Q: My child wants to play a game over and over. Is that okay? Should I do more to encourage new games?
A: Just like our favorite books that we want to read over and over, we get something new out of a game every time we play it. If a child is reluctant to move on to a new game, they might be intimidated by trying something new OR they might just really get something special out of their favorite game. Encourage branching out by finding games that are similar but with different dynamics to explore. For example, if my child really likes OutFoxxed, maybe they are ready to play Clue Jr. If my child really likes Azul, maybe they are ready for Copenhagen.
Q: I really hate playing _____. What should I do?
A: Be honest with your child about why it’s not your favorite game to play. If it is important to them to play that specific game, then maybe you could compromise with an if/then. “If I play this game with you, then I get to choose the next one, okay?” But also, I am not beyond an annoying game finding its way into the giveaway pile to make room for something we will all enjoy. Or maybe Daddy really likes to play a certain game that you don’t enjoy, so that can be a special Daddy-only game.
Q: Should I let my child win?
A: Haha! This is a hotly contended topic. If you are playing with a 3 year-old that is just learning how to play games, then maybe play a little more gently and don’t try to annihilate them every time, but in general I do not believe in letting kids win. If we are playing a very logic-heavy game where I clearly have more experience or advantage, then I might remind children of different move possibilities or possible consequences of their moves, but I think it is undermining their intelligence to believe that I am inherently better at any game just because I am older. I also really play it up when I loose to make sure they feel that good feeling of victory. Or I might make a big deal about a silly move I made so that they make the connection to what not to do. There are plenty of ways to build confidence with games without letting them win.
Q: Is it okay to have house rules?
A: Absolutely! Games are all about having fun together and building bonds. As long as the rules are agreed upon and consistent, house rules make a game yours.
Q: Are educational games anything special?
A: There are games that are made specifically to teach a concept or skill. These “educational” games are all well and good, but the focus is usually on the repetition of the skill instead of the actual gameplay. That being said, we have found some educational games that have been really fun. One of our favorites is Sum Swamp. It’s a math game, but it’s also really cute and has good game elements and challenges. On the other hand, we bought another math game that was an absolute waste of time because the rules did not make sense and the gameplay was tedious with no real strategy. Those games are pointless to me.
That being said, all games are “educational”. Every game you play is going to reinforce skills of some kind, whether it be math, logic, language, etc…
Q: Are Junior games better for young children?
A: I am a fan of Junior games if they are done well. We enjoy Monopoly Jr. and Ticket to Ride: First Journey. I actually prefer Catan Jr. to the adult version. Jr. games generally have shorter gameplay and modified rules to keep things simple, which is why they are attractive. I have found myself modifying Junior versions at times because the rule modifications actually make gameplay more frustrating. For example, in Ticket to Ride:First Journey you don’t get to pick the train car from the stock pile like you do in the full version. We changed that because it was frustrating and actually cut down the strategy aspect. It’s totally okay to make the game work for you and your family.
