I went to visit Baby E again today. She was sleeping when I arrived, so I scooped her up and rocked her, singing and singing. She never stirred besides a few grunts and groans. I love that little face. She seems very peaceful. The nurse said she had a good day and that she is eating really well. She spits up a little, but no reflux, so that’s good. I only stayed about an hour, because she was sleeping, but I know her basic schedule now, so hopefully next time I go (tomorrow?) she will be awake and we will get to chat some more. Did I mention that I love that little face?
I got a present from my dear friend Sherry today. She asked me if I wanted to wait till my shower, and I said “It depends!” She thought it would something I could use right away, so she went out to the car and got it, made me close my eyes, and then TAH DAH! A wet bag and a portable changing station. YAY! Loot! 🙂 I have such beautiful, giving friends. I love hanging out with them so much. They are truly like sisters.
Anywho, the journey continues. I can’t wait to get the precious girl home.
In the meantime, we are really seeing some regression with Jeremiah. His Psychiatrist took him off of his mood stabilizer about 3 weeks ago, and it has really been a tough time here. He is obsessing over his behavior, and then making the same mistakes/bad decisions over and over and over. And the self-hatred absolutely breaks my heart. I cried at the doctor’s office today, and told Dr. C. that I just can’t stand seeing him feel so hopeless.
Dr. C. said that he is displaying a lot of obsessive symptoms, some that I didn’t even realize he was experiencing, like obsessing over object position. The perfectionism I HAVE noticed. Basically, he feels like if he can’t be perfect, than he might as well purposely mess up, because he is, he feels, perfect at that.
So, he is back on his mood stabilizer (hallelujah!) as well as an anti-depressant, which I thought ab*lify was, but I was wrong. That’s another mood stabilizer. So, we will hopefully start seeing some light for him, as we are all quite tired of this darkness.
Peace be the journey.
Blessings!
Hannah
Life is lots of ups and downs, isn’t it? Thinking of you a lot!
Hey, Hannah –
I’m glad things are going well with Baby E. 🙂 As for Jeremiah, (and I’m sure you probably know this), be sure to ask about the side effects for the anti-depressants. I have been on them for quite some time, and I find them very helpful to handle anxiety, but I have heard that they can increase suicidal tendencies in young adults – definitely something to keep an eye on!
Yes, we are very aware of the possible side-effects, and his doctor is using the most mild anti-depressant possible to start with. I’m just really hoping we see some breakthrough.